In a social setting, I met a man who interested me. The more I got to know him, the more interested I was. I started wondering…would I swipe left or right if I found him online? Would I know he was smart? Interesting? Interested? A good person? Would it be clear, from either profile, that we liked to do many of the same things? Would he post photos that drew me in or turned me off?

That’s when I realized the real flaw in the digital dating system; we think we have enough information to make a judgement, but we don’t. We can’t possibly.

We can do some screening. If he’s all about race cars and cigars, that may or may not appeal to you. Maybe it’s obvious that he’s a runner, a traveler, a hiker or a photographer, interests you may or may not share. But there’s more to him than that, isn’t there?

Maybe that photo of him crossing the finish line is from the first and last race he ever ran. Maybe there’s a story behind it. Maybe it’s in the way he tells the story. Maybe it’s the look on his face, in his eyes, as he tells it. Swipe left and you’ll never know.

Which is why I’m introducing my next new approach: buckshot.