I have a friend who successfully gets past initial contacts and always has a date in the works. I asked her to share her secrets, listened to what she said, and gave her strategy a whirl. Seems she knew what she was talking about. And here I am, letting the secret out of the vault.

Following her lead, I joined an additional site, one she recommended. Based on my experiences so far, you get the most attention when you are new to a site. Not necessarily better, but higher volume.

I generally send actual messages addressing something in his profile. A photo, a caption, a reference. I try to include a question. I almost never receive a reply. I’ve changed my photos…no reply. Updated my essay…no reply. Or I get a “thank you,” with no engagement in conversation.

But when I see my friend, she’s waiting on another call. What am I doing wrong? No…what is she doing right?! She sends the winks. When she responds to winks and emails, she doesn’t become a pen pal. She invites him to give her a call.

This weekend I got a nibble from a guy who seemed interesting; I boldly suggested we talk. Voila! We have a call scheduled. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Thanks, Yoda.